still

night drapes around me like a heavy warm coat on a frosty morning

tranquilizing peace subdues the rushing thoughts of today

like a deep breath after touching the bottom of a pool.

heavyness seems to run off as water

and joy fills me quickly like the crest of  roller coaster.

I am still again.

at peace.

and full of my Fathers love..

and I forget why I didn’t remember sooner…

and remind myself to remember.

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allow me

Allow Me

i think

i wonder

my mind reels between the beauty of canvas

and the heart of my Father

if i could create to my hearts contentment

my hand would forever be holding a brush

dripping of paint

my life would be one creative burst of color

one continuous statement of bold hope

Father, allow me to create

even an inkling of the love i feel

from You

for You

it would be an all-consuming life-long feat

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Emerging

A new me emerges from a cold and dismal night. Eyes widening to the vibrant rays of light that seem to dance and explode through the tree line I face. Stepping slowly and perhaps even pausing with each movement to be sure the next step is to be taken. I continue on, Shaken, but never giving up the pursuit of finding the path I seem to have lost.

My hands trembling as they remember the pain of loss and failure, and yet my heart seems to beat more strongly. So much, that it’s beating echoes, replacing the silence of my thoughts.

And there… in the echoing beat… and sprays of light… I remember.

untimid i stand amongst a thorn laden land

i resolve deeply

move as He moves

speak when He speaks

i will be the voice of His words and i will carry the love of His hands

my heart aches within me for change

and my mind, it dwells on His presence

my sights have never been so set as now

nor has my hope been so strong

for though i walk on unlevel grounds

I will be a light that will shine across the land

Today We Stand

Today I stand sure faced, and a solid heart

Sure of my future that is set before me

Solid in my steps that lead me closer to Him

A few days ago I began asking, “Lord, who am I.” Not that I was asking as though I was completly clueless, but more that my heart has felt so transformed I am needing, and desiring to see CLEARLY who I am in the absence of mal-perception.

Quickly He began answering. But it was not in the way I thought it would be. He began listing out words that bescribe me. Encourager. Strong. Loving. Creative… Etc… The list went on. But with that list, I began recieveing site again for who he had ALREADY told I was.

Today, my heart feels strengthend. Last night those I graduated the student intern program with gathered for a reunion. It was of usual sorts till the sharing began. Tony Kline and Pastor Dale shared from the topic of “Heavenly Vision”. Remembering and not losing sight of what the Lord has already shared with us.

Remembering what He has already told us is priceless. Remembering where He has called us is intrumental and life breathing.

I challenge you, even if you think you already know, ask the Lord, “what words describe me?” Let him tell you, write them down.

Next, take time to remember. Ask yourself, where was it, when was it that I felt the most excitted about what the Lord was saying… about what He was asking of you… about what He was having you involved in. Let Him remind you, write them down.

Remember.

27, the arrival

As it has arrived I got away early this morning to seek the Lord. I must stay mindful of the promises. I must focus in on His purpose.

Epiphany must a daily route.

Tonight was remarkable. Unbelievable even. Amidst a most dreary tempest, calm is spoken and believed for, by both myself and my closest friends.

Oddly, this was the smallest birthday, in number, that most likely I’ve ever had, and yet I leave with the sense that it was profoundly significant, and has left a most dynamic impression on my life.

Amongst a season of trails, some of which were brought on by my own hands, no doubt, and some possibly not. But, all to be examined throughly and held up to the light. All to be embraced with humility. All to be walked out as if they were true. The most harmful result would be that I am a better man for it. I stand closer with friends in this season than ever. Among them are sisters and brothers. Healthy. Functioning. Committed. Among them are people who had written me off at one point and others who should have, yet closely now they stand.. ? .. God, your forbearance with me is quite dumbfounding. That in this season of pressing, I feel more believed in and known than ever before.

Words of affirmation were spoken, and with an almost disbelieving heart, I remembered. I remembered the passions that have driven me. A love for people and a passion to see them succeed. A Heart for outsiders to be brought in. A desire to influence others to leave all they must to pursue Him with all they can.
Influence is not something deposited by those in position, or forced by those who lead. Influence rather is, metaphorically an emitting of direction.

  • The word originally had the general sense [an influx, flowing matter,] also specifically (in astrology) [the flowing in of ethereal fluid (affecting human destiny).] The sense [imperceptible or indirect action exerted to cause changes] was established in Scholastic Latin by the 13th cent., but not recorded in English until the late 16th cent.
  • Influence is an inherent “substance” that is emitted by simply being who it is we have been made to be. Influencers guide at all times, leading by way of their own actions. These actions of influencers can be detrimental or life-breathing.

To influence or not, is not in query. What must be answered, however, is how will I influence.