… i feel so humbled beginning this year. It has been a year of triumph and victory born out of the most difficult of days. this year has been one of perseverance, easily.
Out of these ashes the Lord has brought about a… stronger than ever… feeling. ya know, it’s funny. although i am sure i am stronger than before, and much further along especially in the areas hope, perseverance, and faith, i feel… well, not the way i expected i would.
I do not feel weak, nor do i feel strong. however, i do feel a brilliance of confidence in where, when and how God has placed me.
The other night I woke up from a dream, where the Lord spoke something very clear to me.
“often we want to know every detail of where it is the Lord is calling us, when all He is wanting for us to go there.”
I believe that will be a word over this year for so many of us. one that will lead us to the victorious life we have been born for. shedding off the barriers of questions and fear to run with confidence.
one day i will have a room who’s walls are filled with canvas upon canvas. and who’s scent is of oak and acrylic. this room shall be the only one who knows the depth of my dreams. no ears shall hear but His, no heart shall delight as does mine but His as He watches my strokes become permanent reminders of the joy that must forever be hidden till the day when it finally explodes at the feet of my True Father as i lay them at His feet. then, shall my attempts be made perfect, and my incomplete, be completed. This day where no more ponder shall cross my brow, but only in fullness shall they lie upon my heart exposed for all to see the beauty hidden in His thoughts.
A new me emerges from a cold and dismal night. Eyes widening to the vibrant rays of light that seem to dance and explode through the tree line I face. Stepping slowly and perhaps even pausing with each movement to be sure the next step is to be taken. I continue on, Shaken, but never giving up the pursuit of finding the path I seem to have lost.
My hands trembling as they remember the pain of loss and failure, and yet my heart seems to beat more strongly. So much, that it’s beating echoes, replacing the silence of my thoughts.
And there… in the echoing beat… and sprays of light… I remember.
In life we are faced again and again with the same question, asked in different forms and ways. Will we run?
I have been asked that same question countless times. I am faced with a character flaw… Will I run to the Lord or slither further into selfish pattern? I am faced with sin… Will I run to the Lord or continue to love my own flesh more? I am faced with offense toward someone… will I Run to the Lord or let anger stir like a painful boil?
Often I have not chosen the more righteous path. I have Chosen not to run. My dear brothers and sisters, what ever is righteous, whatever is noble, what ever is pure, let us choose those things. Let us run the path less chosen.
What will it take to begin this next year running? For each of us it is different. One area for me is health. After a long year, choices that we’re once being made for fitness and health have now become less habitual and quite a bit more opportunal… The morning runs, well sleep seemed nicer. The workouts became more “work” as a laza fare attitude set it. Eating well became the chore.
Let us choose to end this year well. Choose to run.