a new year begins in amazement

… i feel so humbled beginning this year. It has been a year of triumph and victory born out of the most difficult of days. this year has been one of perseverance, easily.

Out of these ashes the Lord has brought about a… stronger than ever… feeling. ya know, it’s funny. although i am sure i am stronger than before, and much further along especially in the areas hope, perseverance, and faith, i feel… well, not the way i expected i would.

I do not feel weak, nor do i feel strong. however, i do feel a brilliance of confidence in where, when and how God has placed me.

The other night I woke up from a dream, where the Lord spoke something very clear to me.

“often we want to know every detail of where it is the Lord is calling us, when all He is wanting for us to go there.”

I believe that will be a word over this year for so many of us. one that will lead us to the victorious life we have been born for. shedding off the barriers of questions and fear to run with confidence.

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We as a people write, telling of who we are, and where are are, in hopes that someone reading can identify. Find hope. Believe.

Over months I have written, and journaled my journey… and now retracing entries and steps I can undoubtedly see where “hope” though being written of, was not so drenching within me as I thought. It was certainly to the degree that I did not give up. That I persevered. That I could see a brighter future.

However, is it true hope, that when truly shining in us illuminates all around? Or the typical “light at the end of the tunnel”?

I can say, positively things have changed. Maturity has grown. But with honesty, challenge is ever present. And yet, how different I feel.

God of hope, speak deeply to my heart of your love and purpose for me. I desire unspeakably, to honor you and pursue all it is that you have for me.