wonder and hope
fill me deep from within
like a billowing of smoke from a winters fire
faith in my father
standing ferm as stone
I grip tomorrow
and leave today
day fades, I sigh
my breath escapes me like air squeezed from a punctured tire
emptied of strength because I have put my hands to what has been asked of me
from a Father who knows how far I can run
He takes a moment for as long as I will listen
reviewing better steps to be made tomorrow
then filled fresh, like a tired water bottle ready to be placed in the fridge
and waiting till morning to be reused
for tomorrow, we run again!
night drapes around me like a heavy warm coat on a frosty morning
tranquilizing peace subdues the rushing thoughts of today
like a deep breath after touching the bottom of a pool.
heavyness seems to run off as water
and joy fills me quickly like the crest of roller coaster.
I am still again.
and full of my Fathers love..
and I forget why I didn’t remember sooner…
and remind myself to remember.
Who knew recovery could be such a long road? And a better question, if knowing how long the road was when starting out, how differently would you live? Would it spark you towards greater diligence? Or would it have caused you to give up?
Praise God He only lets us know what we need to know and doesn’t show us the entire picture upfront!
So, choose today, persevere! Choose to walk out the path He has laid before us regardless of how we feel!
… i feel so humbled beginning this year. It has been a year of triumph and victory born out of the most difficult of days. this year has been one of perseverance, easily.
Out of these ashes the Lord has brought about a… stronger than ever… feeling. ya know, it’s funny. although i am sure i am stronger than before, and much further along especially in the areas hope, perseverance, and faith, i feel… well, not the way i expected i would.
I do not feel weak, nor do i feel strong. however, i do feel a brilliance of confidence in where, when and how God has placed me.
The other night I woke up from a dream, where the Lord spoke something very clear to me.
“often we want to know every detail of where it is the Lord is calling us, when all He is wanting for us to go there.”
I believe that will be a word over this year for so many of us. one that will lead us to the victorious life we have been born for. shedding off the barriers of questions and fear to run with confidence.
freedom has captured me
it grips me tightly with it’s mercy
allowing me to run
in fields of grandeur and hope
peace and life
my mind reels between the beauty of canvas
and the heart of my Father
if i could create to my hearts contentment
my hand would forever be holding a brush
dripping of paint
my life would be one creative burst of color
one continuous statement of bold hope
Father, allow me to create
even an inkling of the love i feel
it would be an all-consuming life-long feat
one day i will have a room who’s walls are filled with canvas upon canvas. and who’s scent is of oak and acrylic. this room shall be the only one who knows the depth of my dreams. no ears shall hear but His, no heart shall delight as does mine but His as He watches my strokes become permanent reminders of the joy that must forever be hidden till the day when it finally explodes at the feet of my True Father as i lay them at His feet. then, shall my attempts be made perfect, and my incomplete, be completed. This day where no more ponder shall cross my brow, but only in fullness shall they lie upon my heart exposed for all to see the beauty hidden in His thoughts.
Hope burns within me for renewing life
Bursting forth as an unbearable river
Forcing me more and more to dream
And to let go of blockading fears
They will no longer hold me down
A new me emerges from a cold and dismal night. Eyes widening to the vibrant rays of light that seem to dance and explode through the tree line I face. Stepping slowly and perhaps even pausing with each movement to be sure the next step is to be taken. I continue on, Shaken, but never giving up the pursuit of finding the path I seem to have lost.
My hands trembling as they remember the pain of loss and failure, and yet my heart seems to beat more strongly. So much, that it’s beating echoes, replacing the silence of my thoughts.
And there… in the echoing beat… and sprays of light… I remember.