Thoughts seem to slow to a crawl, a stare into the night captures my face. My mind rests and my being sighs. A still moment blasts through the chaotic semblance of what I call life.
I am relieved. I am calmed. I am.
Paused and at peace, remindings to fight for these glimmers of lucidity.
To remember.. To reflect.. On His goodness and faithful love.
Before me is a path that seems forever long. But it’s days are counted. While I do not know how many bad days and good days there will be, this one thing I do know. God is faithful every single step along the way and is worthy of all my devotion.
I do feel quite inadequate when viewing the grandiose vision of where the Lord is leading me. And I suppose I should. Part of it makes me feel crazy, and on the other hand, it assures me that God in fact is the one leading.
To love, serve and build alongside ministries and churches. To partner with individuals, bringing my faith as a hand in their back, pushing them on saying “yes” to the call of God on their lives and reminding them.
Nothing brings more joy than to walk with friends and comrades through the difficult times and into the “ah ha” moments. Those brief and pivotal minutes of seeing clearly just long enough to mark your course out according to what the Lord is revealing and setting trail.
I think fondly of the trail blazers who I have been graced to cross paths with. Bob Reagan. The Buchanans. The Evrist. People who have on more than one occasion been the hand in my back.
If anyone is reading this, remember the path the Lord has had you on. Think back on your first days of knowing the Lord and how far He has taken you. Farther still, the journey has just began.
Who knew recovery could be such a long road? And a better question, if knowing how long the road was when starting out, how differently would you live? Would it spark you towards greater diligence? Or would it have caused you to give up?
Praise God He only lets us know what we need to know and doesn’t show us the entire picture upfront!
So, choose today, persevere! Choose to walk out the path He has laid before us regardless of how we feel!
crawling skin and aching heart
darkest night has passed
and new days heat smiles freshly on my back
turn and stand firm to promise
hold tight to crimson truth
Hope burns within me for renewing life
Bursting forth as an unbearable river
Forcing me more and more to dream
And to let go of blockading fears
They will no longer hold me down
What is it that causes one to be depressed? To isolate? To hide?
So many answers. And the same multitude of answers for how to walk away from those issues. Having walked many paths of resturation that were nessasary for those seasons; from counseling and mentoring, to medication. All were seemingly nessasary for those times.
But, what does the long-term look like? What is the pathway to long-term health in those areas?
I can tell you with certainty what it isn’t. It is not introspection. It is not pulling away from leaders and friends.
This morning as I was journaling the Lord said to me very clearly, “serve others”. While those areas may and most likely will come up at various points for the rest of my life, a key to unlocking their power is serving. Being in a constant place of looking for how I can serve others. Asking the Lord, what is it You would have for me to do, or how can I be used to help others.
In endurance running when you just begin, you cannot immagine your 1st 13-mile run. However, you hear a direction from the Lord, and you continue. The same is true with these areas. His promise to us is a life that is abundant and free. So we can be sure, He gives us a direction for health, there is a payoff. We dont see it at first. But if we stick it out, we see we can run much further than we thought.
If you have been bound by depression or axiety in the past or presently, ask the Lord. What am I to do? Run that path.
Ask him, is serving others a key? He will answer.
Begin today, looking for who to serve and how to serve. Stick it out. You will see you can run further than you think.