Life on the edge..

A few days ago pastor dale, my sr pastor at new song, said “live life on the edge and put pressure on the promises of God.” that way we must count on God to fulfill what He has promised. A life of faith.

As I go into this Sunday morning I am reminded of this. How am I putting pressure on the promises of God? I would say at this point, I am not fully sure. I am seeking Him for how to walk out my business. Meeting w leaders and seeking their counsel. I am growing to a point of boldness to narrow the scope of what clients I take on. I am not afraid to limit who I work with to see a greater dynamic of God’s power in those He calls me to work with.

I am challenged as a young bussinessman to seek out how to run my business as a minitsrty. At the end of my time here on earth, if all I have accomplished is making a few pretty pictures I have failed totally.

God, show me, show us how to live life fully on the edge of your promises. Faith to faith. Glory to glory. God, teach us.


my secret room

one day i will have a room who’s walls are filled with canvas upon canvas. and who’s scent is of oak and acrylic. this room shall be the only one who knows the depth of my dreams. no ears shall hear but His, no heart shall delight as does mine but His as He watches my strokes become permanent reminders of the joy that must forever be hidden till the day when it finally explodes at the feet of my True Father as i lay them at His feet. then, shall my attempts be made perfect, and my incomplete, be completed. This day where no more ponder shall cross my brow, but only in fullness shall they lie upon my heart exposed for all to see the beauty hidden in His thoughts.

Belief in Motion.

Belief in Motion.
What inspiring words.

How much more if we allow them to shape us?
How much more to take the places Jesus says YES to, and run out that path?

Chewing on todays sermon… (yesterday’s thanks to a sudden case of insomnia), I ask myself, “where are the mountains I have not only been called to climb, but have already been given rights to. Belief in motion is so much more than setting out on a path before us, but rather it is running an “unknown” path as if it were one we’ve run a thousand times. And why? BECAUSE HE HAS CALLED US TO IT!!

Rinse off the unbelief and begin.

It is already SET. It is only up to us to choose to run it!

Choose it. Believe it. LIVE IT!!

(Click image to download desktop)



What is it that causes one to be depressed? To isolate? To hide?

So many answers. And the same multitude of answers for how to walk away from those issues. Having walked many paths of resturation that were nessasary for those seasons; from counseling and mentoring, to medication. All were seemingly nessasary for those times.

But, what does the long-term look like? What is the pathway to long-term health in those areas?

I can tell you with certainty what it isn’t. It is not introspection. It is not pulling away from leaders and friends.

This morning as I was journaling the Lord said to me very clearly, “serve others”. While those areas may and most likely will come up at various points for the rest of my life, a key to unlocking their power is serving. Being in a constant place of looking for how I can serve others. Asking the Lord, what is it You would have for me to do, or how can I be used to help others.

In endurance running when you just begin, you cannot immagine your 1st 13-mile run. However, you hear a direction from the Lord, and you continue. The same is true with these areas. His promise to us is a life that is abundant and free. So we can be sure, He gives us a direction for health, there is a payoff. We dont see it at first. But if we stick it out, we see we can run much further than we thought.

If you have been bound by depression or axiety in the past or presently, ask the Lord. What am I to do? Run that path.

Ask him, is serving others a key? He will answer.

Begin today, looking for who to serve and how to serve. Stick it out. You will see you can run further than you think.

“… your entire being absolutely and categorically rejects being unknown. It wants you to wake up and recognize that to experience a deep sense of fulfillment, you must make the journey toward being known for who you really are.”

– Marcus Ryan Restless Journey

Story of a wounded man

At the newly dawning day a man approaches the cuspid of the shadowy valley he has come to know well with all its tresses and cascading rock terrain. He calls it valley of the wound. Like others who have entered this valley as he has, it has been an entrance unexpected and shakingly surreal. Like a roadway with many names, each given by both passerby’s and locals, this valley has come to bear many names. Valley of the broken heart, Valley of betrayal, Valley of Disappointment. Some who frequent its path call it the pass of discouragement. 


Today this man may choose it’s exit wound, ripping through the bloody flesh of its territory. Like a soldier M.I.A., he must return to his path. Once captured by its deceiving path that winds seemingly with out end from ledge to levee and often to impassable barriers, now he stands with ability to see the narrow pass of exit. He stands with it in view, remembering his inheritance, his destiny that calls him onward and strengthens his step.


Now resides only the impression of where frames once hung on a sun-stained wall. Frames previously filled with those he loved and cherished in his heart. Family portraits of commonly bound hearts. Not that his heart has changed it’s pulse one skip towards any one of these displayed… 


It strikes me quite queer how insane one, when wounded, can thrash about causing harm to those gathered round about him. Unmeaningly slapping one across the face with the back-hand of a flailing arm. Another injured by a stiff kick from a convulsively twitching leg. Others on scene desiring to restrain the injured so help can be administered, recieve hurled insults and head-butts. And as if this is not enough, there are still the visual scars gained by those who observed this flowdering of one attempting to save his own life

Even after his wound is long past postmortem, others now must begin dealing with their own injuries. Some sit calmly and allow someone to help. Others place something clean on the wound and apply pressure. And still others in their minds eye have rendered the “harm-causer” dead. Though not physically, certainly emotionally – Although life prior to the man’s injury included memories and vivatious life, they seen so distant now to those who observed the scene as it took place – He can not blame those who choose the last response, for he had been the inflicter and causation of pain.


So these frames, they were not removed with care and tucked away into a hidden place for safe keeping. But rather – it is as though one blinded by rage is opening his eyes to see shards of shattery glass and bits of splintery wood strown all about him. Glancing to his hand he sees one single frame unbroken, clinched in his hand. Still intact, with the exception of the nail pinned to the sun-drenched wall, holds tightly still to the grooved hanging apparatus, as if to say, “please, do not take from me everything“.

As he peers into the last remaining photo, he sees the largest of family portraits he posessed. This last portrait contained all of those who were once each individually displayed in their own hand crafted and ornate frame built by time.

He sees full well, all that has taken place, and weeps bitterly barring the weight of his face in his palms. As his sobbing nears control, he reaches to re-place the central photo back against the now empty wall…



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ to be continued 

part ii



On the heels of yesterdays entry, I had quite the restless sleep. Uneasy most of the night. When I finally awoke late this morning and sat down for my coffee, I was filled with antisipation. I knew the Lord was meeting with me, and had some things to say. As He led me through a passage, He confronted me, encouraged me, and spoke direction. It was an encouraging word, but still heavy. Next, and as if to say, ‘LISTEN TO ME,’ He led me to finish chapter 7 in The Traveler’s Gift  by Andy Andrews


Discouragement, despair, frustration, and fear always wither when confronted by my smile…

Today I will choose to be happy. I am the possessor of a greatful spirit.

… Just as a fresh breeze cleans smoke from the air, so a grateful spirit removes the cloud of despair. It is impossible for the seeds of depression to take root in a thankful heart.

       — Andy Andrews (The Traveler’s Gift, pg. 109) 


A choice. I know I am not alone in saying, most times, when that choice is to be made, I feel powerless to choose to be happy. I have felt abandoned by joy, happiness. This is not true, it is not factual. As we see in Franny Crosby’s life, contentment is choice. It goes with out saying that this choice is at times quite difficult, but it is still within our power to choose it.

Let us choose today to be the grateful people of God we have been born today. Let us choose to not walk fearing the abrasive circumstances used to refine us. Choosing to not disengage with those around us that we have felt hurt by. But, facing every momentary giant of discouragement to see it for what it is. Then watching as we choose to be happy, it shrink before our eyes. Its strength stolen by our smile. 

Chuck Pierce recently said, “… the blockade that wouldn’t open up and let you move forward, even in your emotions, is being unlocked and you are now able to move forward.” 

So choose. Move forward. 

In closing, an exclamation point actually. As I am closing this blog, I am amazed that the Lord is still yelling at me to make His point, and in his adamancy I must listen. In my email is the word of the day

jol·li·fi·ca·tion  [jol-uh-fi-key-shuhn]

jolly merrymaking; jolly festivity. 






True Love? a brief exploration of confrontation

     Love, a word that has seemed to vary in meaning from season to season. But what, in it’s purest nature, is love? I ask these questions not because I have some profound answer to display, rather, these are the questions I am asking during this time in my life. This matter cannot be fully examined or processed in one blog or one book even. But, I do know this, true love does not vary as I do, tousled back and forth from one circumstantial experience to another. Love is a constant. Our understanding of love and it’s depth does however change, as does our experience of it. While it cannot be discussed at length, certainly not by me, in the next few paragraphs I will be conferring a recent revelation to a specific aspect of love. Summing up Hebrews 12:6, who God loves, He corrects.    

We certainly didn’t see in Jesus a lack of confronting others. He was utterly robust at times. He was not mild mannered when it came to confrontation at all actually. He physically threw people from the temple, He rebuked one of His closest friends, even referring to him as “satan” during the confrontation, and on a regular basis would loudly rebuke, even embarrass the religious unsaved of His day. Knowing that God is love, we see love demonstrated in all Jesus did..This is where my understanding of true love is beginning to be ripped apart.     

There were two groups He would observantly be “rude” towards. 1) the brazen religious-unsaved 2) those who were in pursuit of Him. This quandary of confrontational love deepens as we cease to skim over these scriptural occasions of rebuke.


But if we are sincerely trying to address important issues and do our best to present truth in a way that we think will persuade, if we refuse to duck our responsibility to speak and to act, if we are really trying to love in word and in deed – then we should brace ourselves for a fair amount of hostility… It should never surprise us when our love for others makes them feel uncomfortable, even hostile.

In the end, the love of truth and doer of love will sometimes, like Jesus, be both mean and wild – mean with reitious anger and wild with inconsolable grief..

—  Mark Galli  (Jesus, Mean and Wild, p.80)



So what does all this mean? well, I’m still trying to figure that out for a large part. However, this I know. I have written more than a few off for stern rebuke. I have at times even allowed those moments to stir dissension in my heart, bordering on the edge of loathing those individuals or even the institution for which they represented. This reveals in me a deeper place I must examine. A place where rebellion and egotistical lifestyle will breed if allowed to. But, I know this, with revelation comes the keys for change. With embracing, hardened hearts are softened.There is a much broader context for love than what I’ve seen, and in knowing this, I must seek out a fully-orbed view of it to truly live.