innocence | ˈinəsəns | noun – lack of guile or corruption; purity
There was a day when I wasn’t afraid. I remember a day when I thought everyone liked me, that my art was an expression of me that wasn’t going to be judged. A day when I didn’t feel as though failure was an inevitable result. Teachers liked me. I was honest.
But, this changed as I slowly I became more and more self-aware. I remember when a teacher told me my art was not up to standards (age 7). The day I realized I liked music when the other guys my age were onto baseball (8). The day I realized I weighed more than most others my age, easily by 20-30 lbs (age 11). The day I realized there was a “popular” group, and I wasn’t in it (age 12).
I would say that I do not suffer from the residuals of these particulars, however, I do assuredly believe I suffer from over self-awareness; which in essence is pride.
If innocence is a lack of guile or corruption, a return to innocence would then entail more than a simple renouncing of trespasses. I believe for me, it would significantly be marked by a digression from self-awareness and a much greater consciousness of Him, and who in fact He says I am.